D'être Insensé
by Carth
Summary: Oneshot. After months of XANA's torture, William is found in a stranded ship in the Digital Sea, alone and insane, and brought back to life.


It would appear that I am in a CL-writing mood. This works well for you, right? Good!

Just some background for this one- it takes place just after Distant Memory, and works under the assumption that William was fully aware of all his actions while he was possessed. And...a little of what comes of that. It was meant to be a point in Five...but that project was just a wee bit daunting and spiraled out of control. Maybe I'll revisit some of the ideas that were going to be in it someday.

It was meant to be a drabble, but it got a bit long for that. Aheh.

Anyway, I hope you like it...I really liked writing it!

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**D'être Insensé**  
A Code Lyoko Oneshot  
By Carth

The dark ship was docked on a platform jutting out from one of the upside-down blue towers of the Digital Sea. The platform was tucked away within a cavern of platforms, wherein it was barred from the surface without a bit of skillful steering.

There were controls in the ship, and fairly simple ones at that. There were levers to move, buttons to push, and a chair in which to sit to push buttons and move levers. There was a pilot, too, but the pilot had not touched the buttons or levers in over a week. He only made use of the chair, in which he was curled up in a fetal position, breathing slowly and evenly.

The pilot was a young man, perhaps fourteen or fifteen, with an unusual, curvy build. His black hair hung listlessly in his face, and curved over the top of his light-blue form-fitting Lyoko bodysuit. Though his position and breathing pattern suggested sleep, his eyes were wide open. Even then, they did not look entirely awake- they stared unblinkingly out the windshield, as if they could not really see what they were looking at.

The boy shook a little, giggling softly to himself, and then was still again, as if he had never stirred. A few moments later, his giggling resumed with increased vitality. A smile curved across his lips as he grew calm again, but it could not be said for sure what exactly he was smiling at.

"Hit it!" he shouted to ceiling. His voice was oddly high and strained; without that quality, its tone could be mistaken for happiness. His smile curled even wider, and his gaze turned skyward. He stayed in that position for about half an hour.

"Hit, hit it," he said again, without any apparent cause, in the same fervent tone. "I know I have to hit it, shut up, you don't know anything! I can do it. It's scared. Can't you see, it's scared. It's scaring. Scares me. I know I can do it. She said I could do it! And she's everything, did you know that? She's you. She's me. She's everything."

After another few minutes silence, his gloved fist flew up, punching nothing. "Wham! Ha ha! I did it! He's gone! Is she in? Then bring us home, okay, Belpois? I've got a Chemistry test tomorrow and if I don't do it just right…the papers will fall with zero, zero, zero. Paper, poster, paper everywhere."

He didn't notice the bright blue ball of light entering the ship's cavern, and he definitely did not respond to the slow, tinkling melody emanating from it. The light sat still for a moment, as if examining the ship, and then slowly, but steadily, drew closer. Finally, it was almost touching the ship's windshield, and was in full view of the boy. It hovered there for a minute before the boy moved again. "We can't all be geniuses like you!" he ejaculated. "Bring us home! Bring us home!"

_You're the one that tried to kill me._

The strange, musical words echoed in the boy's mind, but he did not seem to respond to them. The ball of light did not move.

_You're different now. _The light paused, making a swift mental calculation. _How did you get here?_

The boy smiled again, but he had not caught on to the light's train of thought. "I bet you were lying." He sounded weary. "And when I get back here I'm gonna take your genius and shove it up your arse."

The light waited again to respond. _Is…everything alright in there?_

Surprisingly enough, the boy whipped his head around to face the ball of light. It stared resolutely at it for a moment. "It's _you_."

_You know me? _

The boy's expression did not change. "Who are you?"

_Ah…well, I may not look it, but my name is Fra-_

The boy whimpered, and drew tighter into his ball. One eye shut tight, but the other one grew even wider, and it fixed the light with a look of sheer terror. "It's time, aren't you?"

_What? No, no- I'm not going to hurt you!_

"No. Years ago. But I was wrong. You're not going to take me away?"

_Even if I wanted to, I couldn't._

"You're not going to take me away?"

_No. _

The boy's smile widened. "Because if you're not him, then you're her," he said, sounding as if he were not sure whether to be overjoyed or terrified. "Why don't you ever come inside?"

_I told you I can't come inside, _the musical voice repeated. _There are many firewalls surrounding your ship. _

"There's no _fire_," the boy repeated, with a loud, angry emphasis on the last word. "Fire is for real people. I can't catch fire. I can't die."

There was a short, awkward silence, in which the ball of light tried to think. _Look, _it said calmly, _I'm not an enemy, and I'm not going to hurt you. I'm as lost as you. I don't know if telling you my name would matter. But I want to find out more about what XANA is doing with you. _He was surprised when the boy did not react to his sentence. _What is your name?_

The boy mouthed his command, as if trying to understand it. He stared for a moment before his face lit up. "Aelita Stones!" he said in a cheerful, triumphant voice.

This was the last thing the ball of light had expected to hear. It pulsated wildly in both light and sound, unable to contain itself. _That's not your name! Aelita?! You know a girl named Aelita? _

"Or maybe it was Della Robbia," the boy went on. "Or Hopper, or Solovieff. It always changes. No name, no name."

_Where is she? Where is Aelita? _The light now had its own hyperfocus.

"Aelita gets put in a tower and doesn't come out for ten years. Aelita goes in and out of the monster, in and out, in and out. Aelita knows not to go near. Aelita said no. But William said yes, and William died. William's in, in, in. No out, no out."

_Is your name William?_

The boy's face froze. The light tried to get back to its point. _William, you know a girl named Aelita. Was she with you on Lyoko when a monster attacked you?_

William seemed frozen for a hundred years before he spoke again. "Haven't you heard, Stern? She says I'm going to be a Lyoko Warrior, Stern. I bet you're not a Lyoko Warrior. Lyoko. Lyoko. I bet you don't know about Lyoko, Stern. I bet you couldn't find Lyoko on the far side of your arse! But I can find you. I can see you. I can seeee youu…" His eyes listed to the side as his speech trailed off into a moaning, endless syllable. His right hand twitched.

"I can see everything," he went on. "I can see everything because I have the eyes."

_The eyes._

"Yes," he said, a wicked, thin smile spreading across his face. "I have the eyes here," he pointed up to his forehead, "And I have the eyes here," he pointed down at his heart. "And when the eyes come I'm dead. She says I'm going to be a Lyoko Warrior, Stern. She says I'm going to help destroy XANA. She said that. Did she say that to you?"

_I see now, _the light said. _You were one of those children, weren't you? The ones helping her. But you weren't careful enough. And now look at you. He possesses you, uses you…and probably tortures you in his spare time. But you can't know about any of that, can you? You don't even want to make yourself know about it._

William had no listened to anything the light had said. He noticed that he was absently tracing a carved word in the arm of his seat. It was almost half a centimeter deep into the substance, and he could see the word right through the windshield- YUMI. Other, less pronounced carvings surrounded it. Most he could not make out, but they were words- far more words, even sentences.

_Did you do that? _he asked.

"It's always been here," William said, sounding calmer than he'd been in hours, tracing a gloved fingernail over the carved word. "Do you know what it is?"

_It says, "YUMI"._

William froze again. His fingers began to tremble, and then, slowly his hand rose. He began shaking it up and down, as if strangling or caressing the air. His lips moved, but made no noise. Then, his hand froze in midair as his lips did the opposite.

"Yumi, Yumi Ishiyama. Stone mountain bow. _Sueteki, watashi wa aishiteru_." He spoke in a rapid, dead tone, one idea after another. "Have you been crazy about Yumi for a long time? Forever. Don't you believe in destiny with a capital D? Two people who have never met, but are made for each other? So you're saying my dream really wasn't a dream? I am. I am. I am. If Yumi asked him to dive off the Science building he'd do it in an hour. Sorry, William, no. You swear you'll keep the secret? I'm ready, I'm ready. How do you feel? Chemistry? I'm sorry, William, but the test is in math. A two-bit Casanova! Sounds like love makes you crazy! _Il est sensé d'être insensé! Oh s'envoler! On fait loser!_"

He was frozen again, before he turned his head back to the light. "Do you know what it is?" he repeated.

_She's someone you loved. _William did not respond. The voice went on. _I loved my daughter, you know. And I left her in the company of that beast for eleven years. Now she's so different, so broken. I can't talk to her. I don't know why I can't talk to her. You're just like her, William. I destroyed you, just like I destroyed her._

Still no response. _I can't let this go on. I'm going to end this game for those children before they get themselves killed. I'm disposable, but my daughter has to live. I'm going to help them, and I'm going to help you escape._

The light drifted forward, until it was touching the hull. The ship became engulfed in light, and William was knocked backward, convulsing and moaning, but never screaming. This went on for maybe half an hour, until finally the ship grew dark. William was still in the seat, still curled up, but now he was sleeping peacefully.

Sounds and scenes danced through the light, all from a first-person point of view- William's point of view. He was riding a Manta across an ocean. He was impaling a brown-haired boy on the end of a dark sword. He was caressing the face of a short-haired Japanese girl, before she fell away from him. And he was in the ship, with the eyes like the eyes in his head and heart, as they spoke to him, _Look at you, you're hurting them, you're hurting them_, all in pitch black speech.

William would never see them again. He would not wake up until his mind was reunited with his body, and even then, he would not remember anything before he had entered. He couldn't stop XANA from repossessing him, but he could stop William from knowing about it.

He would keep the memories, keep them as motivation, so he knew what XANA could do if he wanted. No human would be safe until he was gone, these children least of all.

He had to get to work. He left the cavern, swam for the surface, leaving William, asleep without dreaming, in the seat of his ship.

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The part that begins "Yumi. Yumi Ishiyama" is made up of show quotes. If anyone can identify a few, characters and episodes (and how I changed some), I'll give them a cookie.

- Carth


End file.
